


Against All Odds

by bellatrix_black_Lestrange (bellatrix_black_lestrange)



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellatrix_black_lestrange/pseuds/bellatrix_black_Lestrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the double event outside of Hong Kong, it was presumed that Cherno Alpha and its pilots were gone forever. But Sasha and Aleksis Kaidanovsky looked straight in the face of death and took their lives right back.</p><p>An account of Aleksis and Sasha Kaidanovsky after the war. A tale of survival and progress.</p><p>(I will release the other chapters in time.)</p><p>Feedback is always appreciated, and I will consider it in upcoming chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Survival.

Sasha’s lungs screamed in agony as she searched desperately for the surface. Her left arm was useless, and her other hand gripped tightly around Aleksis’s wrist. If he was dead, she wasn’t going to leave his body in the water. Sasha couldn’t tell. When Cherno Alpha went down, she instinctually grabbed her husband’s hand and wrenched them out of the chunk of dead Jaeger. Her lungs protested, followed their instincts and Sasha gasped sharply, just as she broke the surface, taking in water and immediately throwing it back up, along with blood and a frightening amount of Kaiju blue. Aleksis surfaced behind her, furiously sucking up all the oxygen his lungs would allow.  
Sasha turned to face him, hacking and coughing, wanting to cry for joy that he hadn’t drowned. Aleksis’s face was a bloody wreck. They embraced, but quickly came off each other when they almost slipped back under. The rest of the damage, she couldn’t tell. Sasha knew it was best to ignore it until they reached the shore. They were in shock, and once they knew the full extent of their injuries, they would feel all the pain they should be in, and finding land would be nearly impossible. Aleksis knew that too.  
Aleksis pried off pieces of his pilot suit that would only weigh him down. Sasha tried with her good arm, but it was hard enough for Aleksis with both. She panicked, gritting her teeth, growling, and struggling with the broken pieces so that the torn edges did even more of a job cutting up her skin. With both gentleness and urgency, Aleksis got to work freeing Sasha from her suit. When he was done, she kissed him hard, tasting the blood that was alarmingly running down his face.  
They were floating in the water amidst eerie Kaiju blue, Cherno Alpha was sunk somewhere under them. The Jaeger was beloved to Sasha and her husband as a human son. There was no time to mourn or cry. It was dark, the water was cold, and hypothermia would set in soon if they didn’t keep moving. Sasha tried to get her left arm working, but could only rotate it a few degrees.  
“We must swim.” Aleksis urged his wife, though she already knew that. Sasha didn’t want to tell him, or herself for that matter, how hurt she really was. Sasha nodded slowly, and they started for the nearest stretch of beach. Finding human beings would be the next task after that, but neither wanted to think of the whole new challenge that would be quite yet.  
Aleksis powered for the shore. He was a man, top-heavy and rather wedge-shaped, better built for swimming than Sasha. Sasha had only one useful arm, and struggled to keep up with just her legs to propel her forward. Aleksis was getting too far away. Sasha yelled for him, afraid of being left alone in the sea, and immediately, Aleksis stopped. He turned around to see how far behind his wife was, and rocketed off to retrieve her.  
“My left arm…I can’t.” Sasha admitted, her voice trembling slightly. Angry with herself, she tried to force it to move, and immediately, Aleksis stopped her with a giant hand. He turned over in the water, offering his back to Sasha. Get on, he was telling her. Sasha did. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and her good arm clung to his back and neck for dear life. The side of her face was mashed against his hard, muscular back. Aleksis was a slab of a man, and Sasha could swear he was made of tougher stuff than mortal flesh.  
Aleksis started off a second time. Their breathing synchronized. They were on the same page as always, taking a deep breath, plunging back into the cold water, and then resurfacing when they needed to breathe again. As Aleksis swam on, his breathing grew more labored. Sasha couldn’t help but think it was her fault, that she was holding him back from survival, that she was dead weight on his back. All she could do was hug him tight, and let him know his wife was there.  
After what felt like an eternity, they hit the part of the water where Aleksis could stand. Sasha thought that he himself was like a Jaeger, treading through the sea with long, powerful strides. When they were a little closer to the land, Aleksis let Sasha slide down and feel the wet sand, the ground beneath her again. They were both shaking, adjusting to the feel of gravity, being hit with the cold night air on every inch of their skin. Their clothes were sodden, and only served to make the chill worse.  
They crawled up on the sand, legs buckling under them. Both Sasha and Aleksis grabbed fistfuls of earth, praising it. Sasha let out a small gasp when she saw the debris that lodged itself in Aleksis’s leg. That, plus his head was cut, and her arm was wrecked, but they were still alive. There was probably internal bleeding, trauma, and lots of other invisible injuries that needed urgent care. Their shock was keeping them from feeling the full extent of the damage.  
Sasha forced herself to sit up and pulled off her shirt with one arm, taking care to not jar her left one. “Rip.” She told Aleksis. He was strong enough to rip the fibers like an ordinary person might tear down a spider’s web. Sasha took the fabric and pressed it to his head, trying to staunch the blood flow. She tried desperately to hold it together. Cherno was laid waste behind them, and they were barely hanging on to life. They were both significantly cut up almost everywhere, but the head injury had to be tended to first. Aleksis’s eyes began to close.  
“Nyet.” Sasha gave him repeated light slaps in the side of the face. Aleksis blinked his eyes back open. Going to sleep could mean death when you were in shock. She herself was fading as well. To get all the way here and then to die was ridiculous, and Sasha would not have it.  
They both heard the chop of helicopter blades in the distance, flying over the wreckage where Cherno Alpha and the Kaiju fell. It was the people who had come to harvest for the Kaiju remains. There were usually scientists on board as well. Sasha and Aleksis screamed for dear life, hoping someone would hear them. They screamed until their lungs were ready to give out. The helicopter was flying closer.  
“DA! YES! YESSS!” Aleksis motioned it closer. A rescue ladder was thrown down. Even in their beat-up state, the adrenaline powered them to make the climb. Sasha did so with one good arm clutching the rungs of the ladder. Good thing that Jaeger pilots were considered superstars, or there is no way a bunch of black marketers would’ve given two shits about a rescue mission when they could be breaking up a Kaiju skeleton for profit.  
That was the last thing Sasha remembered until she woke up in the hospital, weeks later. 

In a morphine-haze, the hospital looked soft, bright, and inviting. Sasha would wake up for a few minutes at a time, look around, and immediately go back to sleep. She could make out weird, soft colors, hear muffled voices, but the medication would immediately pull her back under. Sasha’s dreams were simple, and the doctors and nurses knew she wouldn’t be truly awake until she could sit up and string together a sentence. She had been treated for head trauma, internal bleeding, a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist, and had needed many stitches. They worked hard at detoxifying her from all the Kaiju blue she had been in contact with.  
Just as she had finished sleeping off the last of the anesthesia, Sasha dreamed she was once again piloting the right hemisphere of Cherno Alpha, when Kaiju venom blasted through the walls, melted the Jaeger and her husband away. She was falling through thin air towards water, at the mercy of the Kaiju and gravity. Sasha hit the water and woke up screaming.  
` She opened her eyes and was flooded with images of the recovery room. Sasha dug her nails into the hospital bed, and looked around at the weird mint green of walls. There were flowers everywhere, big cards, flags from various Pacific nations, even some eerie looking Kaiju parts in jars, suspended in formaldehyde. She grasped at where her dog tag should be, and it wasn’t there, instead, she found an oxygen tube. To some shock, her left arm was in a plaster cast, and her head hurt like hell. Sasha’s memory flooded back to her, she jackknifed up.  
“Aleksis!” she called in a dry rasp.  
Doctors ran in trying to assure her. “Mrs. Kaidanovsky,” they restrained her “don’t over-exert yourself.” “Everything is okay.” It wouldn’t be until she saw Aleksis.  
On a regular day, Sasha could overpower them all, but she was weak, still drugged-up, and had lost a lot of weight on the IV drip. Still, she was livid, and fought against the doctors until one of them pressed a button to administer more morphine to subdue her.  
“Your husband is alive, Mrs. Kaidanovsky.” An English-sounding doctor explained. “You’ve both been through a great deal. How much do you remember?”  
Sasha went through her recollections. She had forgotten the helicopter, but remembered most everything else: how they swam to shore, Cherno Alpha sinking. That’s right, he’s gone. Sasha hated to remember that part. She thought on her dream, how horrible it was to re-live the terror. But Cherno Alpha was gone, a hunk of metal under the sea. Had they excavated the Jaeger, Sasha did not know. Cherno was the most important bond between herself and Aleksis. In the drift, their minds were one. After fighting in Cherno, Sasha found that she and Aleksis shared far less spoken conversations. They had no need to, they would always be inside each other’s heads. Cherno was their pride and joy, a seamless connection to their partner’s mind that they could never experience again.  
“Let me see him.” Sasha demanded.  
They obliged, but would not let her walk. A nurse pushed Sasha in a wheelchair down the short stretch of hallway. Sasha realized that they had been put in next-door rooms. Her Aleksis had been sleeping beside her the whole time, even though she didn’t know it. She couldn’t help but feel degraded and useless, having someone push her around. Sasha prepared herself for the worst as she came into Aleksis’s room. They said he was alive, but they didn’t tell her how so.  
“My love…” Sasha whispered. She took the wheelchair’s wheels in her own hands and took off towards Aleksis’s bed. His room was filled with similar fanfare. She wheeled clumsily into the bedframe, not used to steering the chair at all, and failing to do so with one working arm. Despite the nurse’s warnings, Sasha gripped the side of the bed and pulled herself to standing. She leaned over to sleeping Aleksis, and planted a kiss on his cheek, hoping he would wake up to see her standing over him.  
Sasha could see how bandaged his leg was. Debris from the destroyed Jaeger had embedded itself in the flesh, and had to be removed in a risky surgery. Sasha had the same predicament herself, and she saw the nasty scars it left. It didn’t matter, though, they had each other and they had their lives.  
Aleksis’s eyes opened slowly, and the first thing he heard was his wife’s unmistakable laugh, and he sat right up.  
“I missed you, my love.” Aleksis said casually as if they hadn’t just almost died, but simply spent a few days apart.  
“The black is starting to come back.” Sasha finger-combed his grown-out hair. Her own light brown roots were likely coming in too, though she couldn’t see it. Aleksis shuffled over as much as he could, leaving a little space for Sasha to lie beside him. The doctors would probably come in in a second and tell them to stop, but neither of them cared. Sasha was cautious around his damaged leg.  
“You look so slight, so skinny…” Aleksis said worriedly.  
It was true. Aleksis looked fine, because larger people always recover better after surgery. Sasha was well-built and muscular, but really only average-sized to begin with. Her face looked gaunt, and the rest of her more sinewy and bony.  
“I am okay, I just need to get out of the damn hospital, eat some real food.” Sasha put on a brave face for her husband.  
“I don’t want you to go.” Aleksis wrapped a hand around Sasha’s waist, and nestled her head in on chest, like she was a child’s doll or teddy bear. “Tell the doctors you are going to stay here, with me. My little kitten.” Years ago, Sasha would have been poised to kill any man who referred to her by any term of endearment, especially not “kitten,” but coming from Aleksis, it warmed her heart.  
The doctors agreed to let the Kaidanovskys have a shared recovery room, with the idea that being together would get Sasha to actually calm down and focus on recovering. Their beds were pushed together, but they were firmly advised against sex, which made both of them laugh. It was not like they could anyway.  
Aleksis spent the days reading, while Sasha filled out a book of brain puzzles. He would sometimes read the passages he liked best aloud to Sasha, or she would listen while he told her a summary of the entire story. They played countless games of cards, gambling for absolutely nothing. They had long conversations in Russian, where they talked about everything. There was no more drifting, and the need to tell each other what’s on their minds arose. They would often find themselves on the topic of “now what,” but would quickly change it. Neither of them knew what the future held. Chances were, the Russian government would want them back in the country, as they were national heroes. Sasha and Aleksis weren’t sure they wanted to go back. Their friends were here in Hong Kong. The news told them that Raleigh and Mako were still around, as well as Herc Hansen, Tendo Choi, Newton and Gottlieb, and all of the Cherno Alpha team. Chuck Hansen, Stacker Pentecost, and the Wei Tang brothers were not so lucky as Sasha and Aleksis. How it was that they got to live while some of their closest companions died was a fact neither could get their head around. Just weeks ago, and in their memory, just yesterday they were waiting for the commands of Marshall Pentecost, keeping Chuck from stepping too far out of line, or playfully arguing with Cheung, Hu, and Jin about stupid things like music taste or preferred drink.  
Cherno’s team had sent messages asking them if they wanted some excavated pieces of the Jaeger, but Sasha and Aleksis declined. They said it would be like saving Cherno’s bones. After hearing what had happened to Chuck Hansen and Stacker Pentecost, the Kaidanovskys were both saddened and proud. Herc was the new Marshall, and though the Kaiju were finished, the Jaeger program was not. Humanity could not let its guard down again, and there would always be forces prepared to pilot Jaegers, should they ever be needed again. Sasha feared another Cold War. Without opponents, it was likely that the Jaegers would be used as competition between nations.  
The days drew by, and friends stopped to visit almost every day. First it was Mako and Raleigh, the other surviving heroes. Sasha and Aleksis had heard how they stepped in once Crimson Tide and Cherno Alpha had gone down. Mako was wearing her soft grey leaf cardigan that Sasha was so weirdly fond of. “I’ve had to put the blue in myself, lately,” Mako said, lightly brushing a piece of her hair with her hand, making reference to the fact that Sasha was usually the one to dye Mako’s hair “but we’re okay. We miss you both, and we’re so glad you made it.” She sat on the edge of Aleksis’s bed. Sasha was so opposed to letting people sign her cast, she thought it was such a stupid, American trend, but couldn’t say no to Raleigh after he procured a bottle of Stolichnaya from under his jacket. That would be for later, when they would celebrate being released from the hospital. When their friends visited, Aleksis noticed that color definitely returned to Sasha’s cheeks, she looked more alive than she had been. They played cards, and Mako beat them all. Sasha and Aleksis were used to winning every game, but they realized that Mako had definitely come into her own. The young girl who had been like their little sister was now a proper match for them. Sasha admitted that Mako could probably go toe-to-toe with her in the ring. They all laughed, knowing it would be a while before Sasha could do any kind of fighting, even for play.  
Herc visited by himself, and there was a definite sadness in the room. For as much of a little asshole that Chuck Hansen could be, he was Herc’s son, and he was only a boy. He shouldn’t have been taken so early. However, such was a cruel fact of life. People were taken before their time so often during war, and Aleksis and Sasha almost experienced that. The Kaidanovskys congratulated him on his position as Marshall, certain that under his control, the Jaegers would remain a protective line of defense, and not the beginnings of wars between nations.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha and Aleksis are released from the hospital after recovering from the double event attack, and spend some time back at the Shatterdome before deciding what next to do with their life.

They were finally discharged from the hospital after many tests had proven that they were healthy enough to walk freely, begin to exercise, and go about their lives again. Considering that they were Jaeger pilots their entire adult lives, Sasha and Aleksis had never experienced what it was like to live like a regular couple, in a regular house, like civilians. Their lives revolved around various alarms and calls to duty, and they were always positioned at the base. There was no need to stay in Hong Kong. They could move to Moscow, New York, or Sydney and no one would stop them. They were heroes, and any nation would grant them residency, citizenship, even. The problem was, Aleksis and Sasha didn’t know where to go. To not live on a military base was a foreign concept. Herc offered them their old living quarters in the Shatterdome, to stay at in the interim while they planned out their future. Though they were always welcome on the force again, both Sasha and Aleksis doubted they would ever want to pilot a Jaeger that wasn’t Cherno, especially that there was no real immediate need for Jaeger pilots anymore anyway.  
Stepping into their old room was surreal. Everything was as they left it on the night of their last mission. The blankets on their pushed-together beds were still rumpled in the exact same way. Their silver flasks emblazoned with the double-headed eagle were still on the shelves, Sasha’s lipstick and mirror were still by the sink, their gold rings still in the white ceramic tray.  
Aleksis switched on the stereo that still had their playlist of Ukrainian hard house queued up. The music took them back to a time that was so strange and different. Aleksis looked at Sasha who was staring at the ceiling, stretched across the bed, looking forlorn. “I feel so useless now, Aleksey.” She murmured, and brought the bottle of Stoli from Raleigh and Mako to her lips, staining the rim red with her lipstick. “No,” Aleksis said, taking the bottle from her and sipping some himself, then lay beside her.  
“I always thought I was going to die in a Jaeger. We all did.” Sasha closed her eyes. “Now I’m here, broken, and our Jaeger is gone. Now one of us is sure to outlive the other.” Aleksis released a deep, sad sigh.  
“Don’t think about that, my love.” Aleksis said, staring up at the wall, taking another drink.  
Later on, Aleksis got to work dyeing their hair. His had gotten a little shaggy, and Sasha’s braid was a good inch longer. He took off his black shirt as to not get bleach on it. Usually, it was Sasha who took care of their hair. Her hands were nimbler, and more dexterous; therefore better at mixing and painting on the dye, as well as cutting their hair with a straight razor. But that required both her arms, and the left was still broken. Aleksis had a bit of a hard time. He needed Sasha who could get every part of their heads, who was always so precise and careful. Aleksis was overzealous with his movements, and almost got it in his beard. He was overly cautious on Sasha. If he screwed up on himself, it was fine, but not on his beloved.  
“I’m not a fairy. You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass” She laughed.  
“It’s just…you’re so much better at this Sash.” Aleksis said with consernation in his voice, kind of mashing Sasha’s hair to the side trying to get the bleach in. Sasha giggled at her husband. He was always so cute when he got frustrated.  
He washed the bleach from both of her hair, and then slid his hand up the back of Sasha’s shirt, stretching a hand across the small of her back. Aleksis loved to hold her. Compared to him, she was so little and lift-able. Next to Aleksis, even 5’10’’ looked small. But Sasha moved with such finesse and grace, she could over-power all seven feet of Aleksis.  
When it was finished, Sasha leapt off the bed, and bounded to the little ceramic dish with their shared jewelry. Her silver nipple rings hadn’t been worn in weeks. She put them back in and showed Aleksis, and he flashed her a smile. They both found their well-worn Cherno Alpha jackets. Putting the jacket on felt like coming home. They settled into their shared two beds, Aleksis curled up across the diagonal, and Sasha fit herself in his embrace, as she always did, and Aleksis snuggled her close. They drifted to sleep together, and everything was slightly normal, if only for a few hours.  
The next morning, they were officially welcomed back by the whole Shatterdome. The welcome-back punches were thrown, and as expected, the Kaidanovskys took them like champs. Champagne corks flew, and they were bombarded with questions, and inquisitions on how the fuck they managed to get out of that mess. Sasha and Aleksis told their story, or what they remembered of it. The story seemed to get more and more elaborate after each shot of vodka. Sasha liked to let Aleksis do the talking, She loved to watch him tell stories, and was amazed at how ludicrous their tale of survival was more it was told. Their raucous laughter echoed off the amazingly high ceilings, and they raised their voices louder and louder as the celebration continued, to the point where they were just shouting. At one point, bottles started to be thrown, and they erupted in cheering every time glass exploded and skittered on the floor.  
After much persuasion, Sasha let the Cherno Alpha team and others sign her cast. She initially refused, saying it was childish. Vladislav, Dimitriyev, and Ivchenko each all offered them a place to stay until they figured out the next stage in their lives. The Kaidanovskys politely declined. They needed their time to be together alone, and didn’t want to impose, no matter how many times their friends insisted it wouldn’t be an imposition.  
At the end of the night, drunken Aleksis lumbered back to their room carrying equally drunk Sasha on his shoulders. She piloted him like a Jaeger so he could find their room even in his stupor. Sasha fell onto the bed and pulled Aleksis towards her by a fistful of his shirt. He tried to kiss her but missed got a faceful of bed instead. Sasha laughed and stroked his hair like he was a pet kitty.   
Her tongue was unruly and drunk, but still she pressed her lips to his ear and said “I hope you remember tomorrow what I do to you tonight.  
Aleksis could feel her devious grin on her as she pulled away, unlooped her belt, and struck it hard across her own thigh.

Some weeks later, It was finally time for Sasha’s cast to come off. After returning to normalcy, eating real food, exercising regularly, and a healthy amount of celebrating with the Cherno Alpha crew, the color had returned to Sasha and Aleksis’s faces, their muscle-tone came back, and they started to feel alive again. She still hated going to the doctor, though. Aleksis sat beside her and held her hand as the doctor started up the electric saw that would cut the plaster cast. Sasha gave him a look. If they could beat up sea monsters together in a giant robot, she could handle a broken arm. Sasha rested her head on his shoulder, knowing that Aleksis always liked to make it clear that he was there.  
Sasha frowned when she saw how weak her left arm looked. Aleksis took it in his hand and stared at it.   
“So small.” He said. She slapped him lightly across the face, refusing to be ridiculed. Aleksis pouted.  
“Sorry.” Aleksis whispered while looking at the ground. Sasha kissed him on the cheek to make whatever damage from the tiny blow better.  
Aleksis held Sasha’s hand and began sliding some of his big gold rings onto her fingers, smiling a huge, goofy smile. She couldn’t wear any with her entire arm in a plaster cast. Instead of engagement rings they exchanged and shared gold animal-head rings and brass knuckles. Sasha leaned in to Aleksis and licked the side of his face. He blushed. Sasha always kept him guessing. The doctor cast his glance away. They had forgotten that they weren’t alone, like they often did when they were together in a room.  
Sasha swung her arm around three-hundred sixty degrees, enjoying the range of motion that she hadn’t been able to exercise in months. She thanked the doctor, signed the paper on the way out, grabbed Aleksis by the hand and led him to the car.  
Sasha drove home for the first time in a long time, cursing and slamming the horn anytime anything got in her way. The Hong Kong streets were always full of people, and Sasha constantly had to hit the breaks for sudden stops. Aleksis punched the stereo on, and blasted their thumping hardstyle industrial music to calm her down.   
“Sasha, it’s not the road’s fault,” Aleksis pounded his fist on the dashboard. He was right. “Breathe, my dove.” He calmed her.   
She pursed her lips, then took a long, sarcastic breath and sighed it out. Sasha masked her rage for her husband’s sake, and they managed to get home without hurting anyone.  
Back at their room in the Shatterdome, Sasha grabbed a free weight from the corner and began testing her left arm, forcing herself to curl more than she could or should have given its condition. She glared at her appendage, as if she could shame it into getting all the strength back immediately.  
Sasha noticed that Aleksis was being awfully quiet, quieter than he usually was, as a man of few words.  
“Aleksey…” Sasha wondered after him  
“A second, my love.” He grunted from the floor, reaching for something that was under the bed.   
Sasha climbed on top of their adjoined beds, crawled to the side that Aleksis was looking under, and stroked the length of his back with her foot. She then stretched out over the bed, so he would find her there when he stood up again.  
Aleksis stood, holding a beautiful wooden box that he had carved himself. It was roughly done, but that gave it a loving, but tough look—much like Aleksis himself. A pleasant smile spread across his face, and his eyes glittered happily.   
“Sasha.” He mused.   
She sat up slowly.  
“Yes…” She took a handful of his shirt and pulled him in closer.  
Aleksis set the box on the bed. “Your birthday was weeks ago, when we were both unconscious in the hospital.”  
Sasha ran her fingertips over the intricate carving, recognizing his distinct hand in the work. Her birthday was not really something Sasha liked to focus on, and during wartime, celebrations and gifts were uncommon. The times they did recognize the occasion were in stolen moments between different obligations and duties, usually just in drinks and songs with the Cherno Alpha team. Their anniversary was a bigger deal, and still only a day they tried to devote entirely to lovemaking if they could manage to get away from everyone for a while.  
“Thank you…I had forgotten myself.” Sasha said, leaning over to embrace her husband.  
She then opened up the box and gasped when she saw the red satin pointe shoes inside. Her lips parted as if to say something, but no words came out. It had been ages since she danced. Aleksis had not even known her back when she was a ballerina, but of course, he had seen it all in the drift. She was poised to become a nationally famous dancer, but when the physically strong were needed to fight the Kaiju, Sasha answered the call to arms, knowing she would probably never return to dance again. She never regretted her choice for the sake of humanity, and never even thought about it much, but Aleksis saw and Aleksis knew. When they initially sparred to test their drift compatibility, Sasha’s swift, nimble, elegant blows were a good balance to the sheer force of Aleksis’s. They balanced each other out in the most perfect way, like partners in a dance.  
Sasha held the shoes in her hands and closed her eyes. Breaking in a new pair after going years without wearing any would be so strange, but she was determined to dance for Aleksis. He hugged Sasha by the waist, holding her head to his chest briefly, then letting her go.  
She rolled up her pants to the knee, slid her feet into the shoes, and began to lace them up. The soles were already scored. Aleksis must have seen her memories of scoring pointe shoes with a knife so they would have better grip on the floor. It was true, what Aleksis always told her, that he paid attention to everything she showed him in the drift.  
Sasha slid off the bed and wobbled just a little bit standing. Truly she could never forget how to dance on pointe. Her muscles remembered, and were every bit as limber and agile as they were when she danced. To use her body for art, not just for combat was something Sasha had forgotten about years ago. She operated a machine, she fought, she protected, and she served humanity. As a result of the war, much of the arts fell through the cracks. All the effort was on keeping the world from ending, Sasha had all but forgotten about dance.  
Aleksis turned on the stereo and instead of their heavy, bass-y electronica, it played the waltz from Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty. Sasha’s heart fluttered. He knew she danced that role, back when she was hardly more than a girl. Sasha tested her leg extension, kicking up to almost her head. It wasn’t what it used to be, her muscles were tighter and tenser, but it was still engrained in their memory.  
Slowly, but with increasing confidence as she got on, Sasha danced the waltz with Aleksis. Even though the female part never traditionally leads, Sasha modified it so she pulled Aleksis with her, rather than him pushing her. He clumsily but enthusiastically followed, staring into her steely blue eyes. She was so graceful, her hands were as little doves flitting about through the air, and her tall, muscular body appeared soft and delicate. A few times, Sasha forgot or missed the steps, but Aleksis couldn’t notice. He was so enamored with her, amazed that he was finally seeing the distant part of Sasha’s life that she remembered mostly like a dream.  
Aleksis held her waist in his hands, signaling that he wanted to lift her in the air. Sasha jumped, arched her back, and he held her high above his head. It was effortless. Aleksis crossed their floor, gazing intently up at his wife, like he was seeing her for the first time. In a sense, he was. Aleksis had seen the incredible fighter, the intensely passionate lover, but never the dancer Sasha, and he was enthralled.  
When she finished, Sasha bowed to Aleksis, dipping her head low, then coming back up to meet his eyes. In her pointe shoes, she was that much closer to being eye-to-eye with Aleksis. She threw her arms around him, and he lifted her off the ground while she maintained a dancer’s posture. Sasha would never be on a stage again, but she promised to dance for Aleksis and Aleksis only.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha and Aleksis move into their first real home together, cuteness ensues.

It was time for the Kaidanovskys to find their own, permanent residence. They were always welcome at the Shatterdome—Herc would not let them forget that. Sasha and Aleksis hated to stare at the vast empty space where their Jaeger used to be. The ghost of Cherno Alpha hung around the hall and saddened them.  
They had no idea how to search for a house. When both Sasha and Aleksis reached the point in their lives when they should be looking for homes, they began their military careers that forced them to move from one base to another. Sasha spent two years touring with the ballet, and had not lived in a permanent residence for an even longer time. Houses to fill with furniture were a foreign concept. They were used to living in dormitory style rooms with the bare essentials only.   
Neither Aleksis nor Sasha had any idea where to begin. They did not even have finances limiting their options. After saving the whole world, there was no shortage of money. They had more of that than they knew what to do with, and were accustomed to having very few possessions. Sasha and Aleksis did not know how to occupy more space than their little room at the Shatterdome.  
The question of where they would live arose. Whether to return to Vladivostok, stay in China, or find some place totally new was a question they bounced around in conversation. Truly, they missed Russia, but they both knew that there was no one waiting for them there. Sasha’s parents were long dead, and Aleksis long estranged from family. If they were living or dead, he wouldn’t know.  
All their friends were military too. None of them knew how to search for a house. Aleksis’s computer search-engine query “Hong Kong apartment buy” did not really turn any worthwhile results, but served to make Sasha laugh.  
Eventually, they did get serious and settle on a place to live, after a long internet search with Raleigh and Mako over their shoulders. It was a trendy new apartment complex that a lot of young, wealthy people were starting to move to. It was a generous amount of space for the city, but not really that much larger than a smallish house anywhere else. It featured two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room, a loft room over the kitchen, and a living room with giant floor to ceiling windows, and a balcony. They would live on the twentieth floor of the high-rise apartment complex. Aleksis questioned the need for two bedrooms.   
Sasha laughed and said “I can definitely think of at least one more use for a second one,” while making a whip-cracking motion with her arm and smiling deviously. It made Aleksis laugh nervously. Sasha sometimes said things she shouldn’t in mixed company.  
The fun part was getting to pick out the things to put in the house, all the stuff that’s traditionally done around the time of the wedding. The Kaidanovsky’s wedding was just the signing of a document and a brief celebration that night. They bought a cool black leather couch and chairs for the living room. They cared very much about having lots of places for friends, and the room that Sasha joked about turning into a dungeon actually became a guest room. Sasha and Aleksis agreed that their first indulgence would be the best stereo system they could find. Marshall Pentecost always scolded them for “inappropriate use of Cherno Alpha’s audio systems” when they would, for no reason, chill out in the Conn Pod for hours at a time even when not on missions.  
Aleksis blew a significant amount of money on shiny kitchen things, like the sharpest steel knives available on the market. Sasha wholeheartedly approved, not just because sharp knives were awesome, but because Aleksis was a wonderful cook. She wanted him to have everything that wasn’t supposed to matter during the war.  
Before the move-in day, a box arrived for Sasha that contained a riding crop and titanium handcuffs. She showed him the contents with a smirk..  
“Yes!” Aleksis roared, slamming a fist down on the table. In the Shatterdome, they always had to improvise and use their own belt buckles.  
Even though they didn’t have much stuff to actually take in to the new apartment, the move in was crazy. Sasha drove the truck around in three circles around part of the city because they couldn’t find parking close enough to the building, until they nearly drove up the sidewalk and into the wall itself trying to speed into a newly-freed parking spot.  
The first trip up with their things, Sasha insisted on taking the stairs.  
“It’s only twenty flights!” she said nonchalantly. Aleksis huffed and pressed the elevator button emphatically.  
Despite her initial resolve, Sasha resorted to use of the elevator after one trip both up and down. Aleksis made a bad habit of just dropping the furniture boxes rather than setting them down like a regular person.  
“We have downstairs neighbors!” Sasha scolded. “And you’re going to break all things!”  
After all the boxes were transported, Sasha began assembling the furniture. The instruction papers were tossed to the floor unopened. I can put together a fucking chair on my own. Sasha dismissed. While she worked on the furniture, Aleksis opened the box of kitchen things and began preparing their first dinner in the new apartment.  
Aleksis began to unwrap the chicken they bought at the grocery store that morning. Sasha had made sure everything was accounted for, even dinner that night. Aleksis flipped a shiny new knife from hand to hand, and then stabbed it down into the cutting board. It stuck in beautifully. He laid out the meat to start tenderizing it. The first blow proved to be way too hard, and both Aleksis and Sasha heard it with the cracking sound that came from the countertop.   
“I broke it.” Aleksis said with his hands in the air, walking slowly away from the kitchen. “I broke our house.’  
Sasha came over to see the damage. “Oh, that was bound to happen anyway. You can’t even build something strong enough to be Aleksis-proof.” She purred, and hugged him from behind, then bit lightly at the flesh of his back.  
He turned around, and Sasha scampered off, down the hallway and towards the bedroom.  
“Come back here!” Aleksis shouted, chasing his wife down. He stopped her in front of the bedroom door, scooped her up with one arm and placed her on his shoulder where she sat and balanced elegantly.   
He walked her back to the kitchen and placed his wife on the counter. Sasha sat cross-legged and watched Aleksis cook a lovely chicken Kiev. They forgot that the breaded raw chicken had to be refrigerated for three hours before frying, and it ended up kind of looking like a mess, though it tasted just as good anyway. To eat something they cooked themselves, rather than the made-in-bulk cafeteria food at the Shatterdome was lovely.  
After dinner, they shared a few cigarettes out on the balcony and enjoyed the view of the city that would be theirs as long as they lived there.  
Later that night, Aleksis walked into their room to find Sasha laying across their bed, wearing nothing but a black silk slip and a smile. He was surprised. Sasha never bought any kind of special clothing, especially not lingerie. She had purchased it for the occasion. For other women, it might have been very basic, but it was the Sasha equivalent of total frivolity and lavishness.  
“What is this?” Aleksis grabbed a handful of the black silk curiously. Sasha just laughs like you know perfectly well what, and pulls him in closer to her. They enjoy their first night ever in a real bed, where they don’t have to worry about the awkwardness of the two pushed together. And yes, they fell asleep like they always did, with Sasha nestled against Aleksis’s chest, and him hugging her tight.  
The next day there was an all-day housewarming party with the Cherno Alpha team, Herc, Mako, Raleigh, Newt, and Hermann. Aleksis cooked for them while Sasha poured endless drinks. The night culminated in a charades death match. Charades was a blood sport amongst pilot and best friend teams, and for a supposedly quiet game, there was a whole lot of yelling. Even Mako, the coolest and most put-together of them all was shouting just the same.

 

After settling into their new home, Sasha fell ill and for a few days they thought it was food poisoning, a consequence of their habit of never cooking steak all the way through. Aleksis knew Sasha hated to go to the doctor, so he figured they would wait a few days to see if it got any worse. Sasha couldn’t tell if she was feeling better, or more used to the constant nausea. On the fifth day, Aleksis was ready to take Sasha to the doctor anyway, in fear that she did really need medical help. Still, Sasha refused.  
“Aleksis, please close the bottle, I’m ill and you know I hate milk...please” Sasha pleaded wearily, stepping into the hallway while brushing her teeth after vomiting.  
Aleksis looked at her strangely from his seat on the kitchen counter, and tossed his glass down the drain. He had no idea how she could smell it from way in the bathroom. “My dove…you were all the way over there, I didn’t think you would mind. How could you…” He furrowed his brow.  
“I don’t know,” Sasha said, placing a hand over her mouth and squinting in the kitchen light, that she had grown a strange sensitivity to. Her mouth fell open and she blushed, coming to a realization “Oh…” Sasha raised a finger as if to say just a minute. Aleksis leaned towards where his wife left from, but stayed put, giving her space. He knew Sasha hated him to be there when she got sick. I don’t want you to pity me, she always said.  
Sasha slammed the bathroom door, crouched down under the sink, and began to rifle past boxes of hair bleach, and soap to find the pregnancy test stored way at the back, that most women kept in their bathrooms as a precaution. It started to make sense. Now that she thought about it, her breasts did feel sore, but Sasha assumed it was only pms. She checked the expiration date on the box, and it was still good. Sasha carelessly tore the box open, mangling it and forgetting about the instructions entirely. She was pretty sure she could figure it out herself. Sasha unearthed the plastic stick, used it, and stared at the window that was supposed to show the result. She didn’t know whether it was supposed to be a minute, two minutes, or fifteen even. Sasha stared at it intently. She was afraid to jump to conclusions, though. The radiation from the Mark 1 Jaeger had supposedly rendered Aleksis sterile, and Sasha would never in her life be unfaithful to him. 

“боже мой” Sasha gasped when she saw a plus sign show itself on the little indicator strip. “Aleksis!” she yelled from the bathroom, staring at the plastic stick another time to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. Thundering steps grew louder and louder, until the bathroom door swung open. Sasha’s natural slight scowl was now a bright smile. She held the thin plastic stick right in Aleksis’s face and laughed in amazement and disbelief. Aleksis fell to his knees. There were tears in his eyes as he took Sasha’s hands in his own, holding them like they were absolutely precious. He was afraid to squeeze her too tight. Sasha could always take his bone-crushing bear hugs, but now it was Sasha and their baby (or rather, the beginnings of it). To finally be able to put the war behind them, and focus on something other than saving humanity was a foreign concept. Sasha shook with nervous, excited energy. She couldn’t tell if it was normal to be scared. The initial shock was subsiding as she locked eyes with Aleksis, trying to grasp the reality of their situation. Children were always a distant thought, what with the war, and the effects of the radiation. In less than a year, the child would be a real entity, not just an idea, or a small cluster of cells. Tears spilled from Sasha’s eyes. She hardly ever cried. Sasha was a passionate fighter and lover, but never a crier.   
Aleksis scooped Sasha up, holding her delicately as if she were a baby bird. The same hands that could break a man’s neck with a single fell blow were capable of such gentility. Sasha buried her face in his chest, feeling Aleksis’s warmth, letting the last of her tears soak into his shirt. He carried her from the bathroom and across their bedroom. Sasha couldn’t help but note that Aleksis was so careful with her, he was going to be so good with the baby. She was the rougher, more dangerous lover, and he was the gentle one, even with all his brute strength.  
Aleksis laid Sasha down, pulled her grey silk robe open, and kissed her tear-soaked cheeks, her always-red lips, down her neck, her collarbone, her breasts, down her tight, toned stomach and lingered there. “A little boy or a little girl.” He said. Sasha raked her fingers through his bleach-fried hair, stroking him lightly with long, painted nails. She never minded the scratchiness of his beard, and was in fact, quite fond of it. Sasha sat up and traced his Cherno Alpha back tattoo with her hands, dragging her nails delicately and carefully over the lines of ink like she knew Aleksis loved. He sat up too, nose-to-nose with his wife, and cupped her face in his hands. Sasha kissed him, feeling the smile on his lips. He was just the kind of father she needed for any child of hers, and before Aleksis, Sasha used to swear that she would rather die than have children. But she knew Aleksis always wanted to be a dad, and Sasha remembered how he was when Mako was little, always lifting her on his shoulders so she could pilot him like a Jaeger, countless afternoons of letting her practice on him, and always offering a kind word when she was feeling down. To have that for her baby was more than any woman could dream of. Sasha feared she would not be able to handle a child like Aleksis could. He always knew just what to do. Sasha would love and protect the baby fiercely, and with every fiber of her being, but she feared that she could not be of as much help emotionally as she needed to be as a mother.  
Aleksis noticed the tension in her arms and neck, and pulled away to see worry in Sasha’s steely blue eyes. “What’s the matter, my happiness?”  
“I’m afraid.” She bit her lip and looked up at Aleksis. “I’m not going to know what to do. Children are so dependent, and if I do something wrong, even now, the consequences could be terrible. What if I can’t handle it, what if I go mad? What if even now, I lose the baby?” Sasha said, her lips parted nervously, searching Aleksis for an answer.  
“Babies are resilient, Sasha.” Aleksis assured. “Our daughter or son is just as strong and brave as Mama.”  
Sasha thought to the drinking and smoking she had done in the past few weeks, as well as how she had nearly nothing to eat in the past few days. With no idea how far along she was, Sasha feared that she had already done a great deal of harm.  
“Don’t tell anyone yet, I don’t want to curse it.” Sasha whispered.  
“We won’t, my dearest, we won’t.” Aleksis agreed, and sttarted to massage her back, kneading out all her knots, and silently telling her it would all be okay.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleksis and Sasha visit the doctor for the first time concerning the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a slightly shorter chapter, but an update nonetheless! i'm sorry for disappearing for so long. I had a plot point that needed to be worked out.

The next day, Aleksis was even more concerned for Sasha, making sure she tried to eat, that she looked out for herself all the time. Sasha tried to control her temper, and tried not to be angry at her condition. She heard that stress could hurt the baby. Ironically, she desperately wanted a cigarette to help clam herself down. Aleksis stopped smoking as well, knowing that secondhand smoke could cause a miscarriage. Sasha was desperately afraid of miscarrying. Both of them knew this was something of a miracle, and most likely their only shot at having a child.  
“We need to go to the doctor, I want to be sure it’s okay,” was the first thing Sasha said when she woke up in the morning, crawling over to a sleeping Aleksis who immediately leapt from the bed and called to schedule the appointment.  
When Sasha was sick again, Aleksis paced in circles, apologizing endlessly, saying “I’m so sorry I did this to you.”  
He honestly would have gladly endured all the pain and discomfort if it meant that Sasha wouldn’t have to, but he was a man and that wasn’t possible. Aleksis was careful to not rush into talking about plans for the baby, knowing they should not get their hopes up this early. They were afraid that talking about it would doom it, and something would go wrong. Sasha asked that they tell no one, and talk very little about the baby themselves until the first three months were past.  
Sasha studied herself in the mirror at all angles, trying to see if she could make out how far along she was. She honestly saw no difference, which meant not far along at all. She enjoyed a moment of joyfulness and surprise yesterday, only to be filled with worry and fear shortly after.  
Aleksis drove them to the doctor immediately. The whole car ride, Sasha clutched the edges of the seat and closed her eyes, trying not to be sick.  
When they got there, Aleksis held Sasha’s hand all the way to the office. She put on a brave face, clenched her jaw, and led him in with confidence. They settled into the waiting room chairs. Sasha didn’t want to look at the informational medical brochures, to avoid reading about the million things that can go wrong. Instead, she stared intently at the empty wall. Sasha was thankful they were the only ones there. Seeing other people or families would only set her more on edge.  
“Sasha Kaidanovsky.” The nurse called as she stepped into the waiting room.  
Hearing her name snapped Sasha out of her self-induced trance. She stood up slowly and marched forward. Aleksis hovered behind her, urging her on but kept his distance. Sasha needed her space.  
They sat down in the office chairs. Aleksis leaning back, nearly reclining in his, and Sasha leaning forward with her feet planted firmly on the ground, as if being physically closer to the doctor would mean that she would hear what she was going to say much sooner.   
The Doctor’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened when she realized who was in her office: the Russian Jaeger pilots, the international heroes who had helped prevent a kaiju apocalypse. She covered her face momentarily, pretending to be intently reading the clipboard with Sasha’s medical history on it, trying to hide her awestruck expression. Impatient, Sasha pressed her lips into a thin, red line. She was holding her breath, tensing every muscle in her body. Aleksis put a hand on her back, reminding her to breathe into it. Sasha took silent, deep breaths, trying to conceal how nervous she actually was.  
The doctor lowered the clipboard. “The good news is, I am not worried about Sasha. She is in good enough health, and well-recovered enough to be able to physically handle pregnancy.”  
“Okay.” Aleksis said, resting his head on his fist. Sasha said nothing. That was something she already knew.  
“I’m worried about the radiation, what it will mean for the baby’s health, and Sasha’s health as it relates.” The doctor said apologetically. “When it comes to a genetic defect, there is a certain point where the likelihood of survival is so little, and the mother’s health is put so at risk that we recommend termination.”  
Sasha’s throat tightened. Her heart pounded hard and fast, and she clenched her fists so hard, her well-manicured nails cut into the skin of her hands. She opened her mouth to speak, and was scarcely able to get a word out.  
“What can we do?” she asked in a quiet, choked, gruff voice.  
“There is a dna test that can happen when the baby has grown more. We take some of its cells and test them for genetic defects. This is usually used for paternity tests, and it carries some risk of miscarriage. You’re only three weeks in, so we would have to wait a bit longer, but the option is available.” The doctor offered.  
Aleksis turned to Sasha, eased her fists open, and held her hands in his. Sasha just stared at the door, hoping no one would see her eyes starting to glaze over with tears. Not crying. Not crying. Not crying. Sasha insisted to herself.   
She cleared her throat. “No.” she said coldly. Sasha leaned back in the chair. “I don’t want to know.”  
“Very well.” The doctor said doubtfully. It was clear that she endorsed the test, but if Sasha wouldn’t allow it, all was for naught.  
This could very well be their only chance to have a child of their own, and Sasha was not giving that up. No matter how much the radiation had fucked it up, Sasha was ready to take it. She and Aleksis built a military career off of never giving up, even in the face of certain destruction. They were an extraordinary couple that made a life based off of winning against ridiculous odds, and their daughter or son would be just as much of a goddamn champion as their parents.   
The doctor wrote Sasha some prescriptions and instructed her to visit again in a month.


End file.
